Always Here

Singing “Rain drops keep falling on my head”..
When really they are tears flowing heavy like mother nature
Sobs loud as thunder on a cold spring night
I cry, begging for forgiveness, pleading for another chance
Questioning myself, wondering what I did to deserve this
Suddenly I cry silent tears and speak without words
Eyes close to visualize moments leading up to this one
A long walk up the hall, turn left to see my world come crashing down
My family floods, a stream of tears flowing simultaneously
Grandmother speaks and her words cut through my flesh, a stab straight to the heart
Eyes reopen at the ding of the elevator door, there she lays, heaven on earth
I try to call out her name but my mouth is as dry as cob webs in the attic, I pause
Take a deep breathe and try again
“Mommy please”
the words are a soft whisper
slowly walking towards her bed I reach out to her
“Mommy please”
the words get louder
Above her I now stand, tears return to their resting place
face dried up like a raisen in the sun, I speak again
“Mommy please wake up”
a hand rest on my shoulder and Grandmom says
“Mommy’s gone”
A single tear drop falls but stops before it leaves my cheek
A warm breeze carries it away as I hear a soft whisper
“I am here”
I fall to my knees, grasp my heart and…well I am here

-Written Jan. 20, 2010

 

Published by: Pieces of Me

Often times we find ourselves hoping to following our minds rather than our hearts and we soon realize it's not the case. we get so caught up in our feelings and allow the stream of tears to sway us into making short term decisions that has long term effects. Sometimes we need to take a step back from ourselves and look at things from the outside. Ask ourselves is it worth it? Will I be ok with my decision tomorrow? Once we decide that it is worth losing we need to breathe in release and let go! No looking back, no regrets, just high hopes for the future, less frowns and more smiles. My name is Jordean Matthews and I am a native of Pleasantville, NJ. This blog showcases all things that are me. My life, my talents, my thoughts, my family. It truly displays all the pieces of me.

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