Always Here

Singing “Rain drops keep falling on my head”..
When really they are tears flowing heavy like mother nature
Sobs loud as thunder on a cold spring night
I cry, begging for forgiveness, pleading for another chance
Questioning myself, wondering what I did to deserve this
Suddenly I cry silent tears and speak without words
Eyes close to visualize moments leading up to this one
A long walk up the hall, turn left to see my world come crashing down
My family floods, a stream of tears flowing simultaneously
Grandmother speaks and her words cut through my flesh, a stab straight to the heart
Eyes reopen at the ding of the elevator door, there she lays, heaven on earth
I try to call out her name but my mouth is as dry as cob webs in the attic, I pause
Take a deep breathe and try again
“Mommy please”
the words are a soft whisper
slowly walking towards her bed I reach out to her
“Mommy please”
the words get louder
Above her I now stand, tears return to their resting place
face dried up like a raisen in the sun, I speak again
“Mommy please wake up”
a hand rest on my shoulder and Grandmom says
“Mommy’s gone”
A single tear drop falls but stops before it leaves my cheek
A warm breeze carries it away as I hear a soft whisper
“I am here”
I fall to my knees, grasp my heart and…well I am here

-Written Jan. 20, 2010


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