Lord it’s not always easy, to have faith from the start,
but I believe in your miracles and now I give you my heart.
As the light of my days, become much darker at night,
my faith becomes weary, and I know that aint right.
I look for your miracles, too often it may seem,
but like you lord, my blessings are unseen.
It makes it hard to believe, when I can’t feel your touch,
when I reach for your hand, after losing so much.
You will never give me, more then I can bear,
you have a plan for my life, or so I hear.
I can’t imagine, what this plan could be,
where it would involve losing, those most important to me.
A long distant dad, but he was still mine,
it’s not fair, we were given so little time.
The pain I felt, I still harbor til this day,
but you helped me get through it, you showed me the way.
Momma loved to take walks, and had the cutest little laugh,
but the last walk she took, you had chosen her path.
You said you needed her home, she had to come along,
that I shouldn’t cry, I had to remain strong.
I didn’t understand you, nor did I want to at the time,
I had lost all my faith, and was in a distant state of mind.
The deacon nor the preacher, could restore my faith in you,
it was a test you had given me, to see if I would get through.
I portrayed the good girl, who believed in your word god,
when questioned about my faith, I would always smile and nod.
I never understood, and still can’t til this day,
with all the stones in the world, why it was my rock you took away?
At times I feel lost, and need to break free,
from the chains of guilt and resentment, I have strangling me.
Sometimes I feel forgotten by you lord, like your unaware,
I’m in a world of my own, and no one knows I’m here.
Painful thoughts, are always on my mind,
and to be honest, I don’t think I will make it through another time.
There will always be people, trying to help me get though,
and because of that I’m able to lift my hands and say “Lord I’ll trust you.”