This is dedicated to You… and You

Damn will you just listen

For once would you just hear me out

I don’t want to do no more reminiscing

That’s what makes all this anger comes about.

Just let me talk for a minute

There is a lot I’ve wanted to get off my chest

You can talk when I’m finished

I just need to put all these feelings to rest.

I know I’m supposed to respect you

I’m supposed to love you unconditionally

After all of the heart ache I’ve been through

How could I ever have enough love left to love me?

You love to keep me around

To listen and wipe all your tears

You said you’ll be there when I need you

Until that time comes and you disappear.

Your problems are of high importance

Keep your head high you mustn’t bow

While your back to your five minutes of happiness

I guess mine we can just put aside for now

How am I supposed to keep a smile

When all I want to do is cry

I have been feeling like this for a while now

And I think its time I let you know why.

Deep breath…….

You’re rude and inconsiderate

You have no respect for our bond I see

You think I am always gonna be there when you call

I guess that’s the curse God put on me.

To be good to my friends and family

To walk a foot behind to pick up your slack

I have grown over the years you know

But I can see you want me to bring the bitch I was back.

That loud talking, fast walking

Eye rolling, neck snapping

Uncontrollable mouth having bitch…to say the least.

But I won’t.

From family to friends I’m tested

Like you’re all trying to see when I’ll crack

But as God is my witness

I will not let the devil take me back.

To the place where I used to be

Shattered mirrors was all I would see

Broken glass beneath my knuckles

Because I couldn’t stand the sight of me.

Fighting amongst my family

Feeling like a puppet up on a self

Crying because I was so lost

Fighting a battle I lost against myself.

No I won’t go back there lord God

I’m through fighting I gave them my last

No I won’t go back there lord God

I can’t continue to relive my past

Memories no matter good or bad

Some bring hope and some I wish weren’t as sad

Trying to create happy thoughts

While being reminded of what I never had.

Can’t sleep afraid to face my fears

Laying in a pool of my own tears

Wiped away to reveal my eyes

To see the girl that I once despised.

I’m forgiven, and forgiving

All the anger I will release from me

Either your with me on this journey

Or just the same you too shall be set free.

What a relief….You with me?

Published by: Pieces of Me

Often times we find ourselves hoping to following our minds rather than our hearts and we soon realize it's not the case. we get so caught up in our feelings and allow the stream of tears to sway us into making short term decisions that has long term effects. Sometimes we need to take a step back from ourselves and look at things from the outside. Ask ourselves is it worth it? Will I be ok with my decision tomorrow? Once we decide that it is worth losing we need to breathe in release and let go! No looking back, no regrets, just high hopes for the future, less frowns and more smiles. My name is Jordean Matthews and I am a native of Pleasantville, NJ. This blog showcases all things that are me. My life, my talents, my thoughts, my family. It truly displays all the pieces of me.

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