#Day14- Happy Mother’s Day

“Sometimes I just look up and smile and say I know that was you.”- Unknown

I didn’t know how I would feel today. Usually on certain holidays and occasions where I am forced to remember my mother most I try my best to stay busy so that I wouldn’t have to think too much about her. I miss her, that much I know but I can’t figured out if I am sad because I am really sad or if I think I am supposed to be.

I had a moment a few years ago where I almost forgot her birthday and boy was I devastated. I cried like a baby and it’s like I wanted myself to feel some kind of pain on that day because joy didn’t feel right. I then remembered just how lively of a person she was and I knew from then on I wouldn’t and couldn’t feel sorry for myself.

Today I planned to workout and to go to brunch with my coworker but I literally laid in bed all day. I got up only to use to bathroom and to get food. I wasn’t necessarily sad but I just didn’t have the energy or will power to do anything. I read a few books, liked a few mother’s day post on social member and may have shed a tear or two but I am ok.

While I had moments of sorrow I also found joy in the amount of love that people was sharing and showing their mothers and mother figures. I know without a doubt that I would spoil my mother to the ends of the earth and back if given the chance, so seeing others do it made me smile.

I have met a lot of women in my life who of course would never take my mother’s place but they have made me feel loved, respected and appreciated and to them I say Happy Mother’s Day.

Published by: Pieces of Me

Often times we find ourselves hoping to following our minds rather than our hearts and we soon realize it's not the case. we get so caught up in our feelings and allow the stream of tears to sway us into making short term decisions that has long term effects. Sometimes we need to take a step back from ourselves and look at things from the outside. Ask ourselves is it worth it? Will I be ok with my decision tomorrow? Once we decide that it is worth losing we need to breathe in release and let go! No looking back, no regrets, just high hopes for the future, less frowns and more smiles. My name is Jordean Matthews and I am a native of Pleasantville, NJ. This blog showcases all things that are me. My life, my talents, my thoughts, my family. It truly displays all the pieces of me.

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