“Sometimes I just look up and smile and say I know that was you.”- Unknown
I didn’t know how I would feel today. Usually on certain holidays and occasions where I am forced to remember my mother most I try my best to stay busy so that I wouldn’t have to think too much about her. I miss her, that much I know but I can’t figured out if I am sad because I am really sad or if I think I am supposed to be.
I had a moment a few years ago where I almost forgot her birthday and boy was I devastated. I cried like a baby and it’s like I wanted myself to feel some kind of pain on that day because joy didn’t feel right. I then remembered just how lively of a person she was and I knew from then on I wouldn’t and couldn’t feel sorry for myself.
Today I planned to workout and to go to brunch with my coworker but I literally laid in bed all day. I got up only to use to bathroom and to get food. I wasn’t necessarily sad but I just didn’t have the energy or will power to do anything. I read a few books, liked a few mother’s day post on social member and may have shed a tear or two but I am ok.
While I had moments of sorrow I also found joy in the amount of love that people was sharing and showing their mothers and mother figures. I know without a doubt that I would spoil my mother to the ends of the earth and back if given the chance, so seeing others do it made me smile.
I have met a lot of women in my life who of course would never take my mother’s place but they have made me feel loved, respected and appreciated and to them I say Happy Mother’s Day.