“Sometimes you just need to disconnect and enjoy your own company.”-Unknown
Have you ever had a moment where you just felt like everything was happening too fast and you just needed to pause for a second? Like life was just passing you bye and you didn’t even get a chance to enjoy the moments? How about if those moments started to become far and few, have you ever experienced that? I did.
Some days I just want to scream, I jut want to tell everyone to leave me the F*^k alone and just runaway. I don’t want to listen to anyone’s problems, give anyone anything, do any favors or worry about anything. I just want to breathe.
This feeling hits me at the most random times and I get into these moods where I just feel like I am not meant to be enjoying all that I have worked hard for. I feel like I don’t deserve some of my happiness and that it is meant for others so I isolate myself.
Usually it isn’t a problem, I tend to walk alone but recently I have been letting more people into my space, which just means I have more people to wonder why I haven’t or won’t be around.
There really isn’t anything wrong, sometimes I just need to step back, recharge and refocus. The more people I let in the more I lose track of what it is that I want and need. I start focuses on their goals, their likes, their idea of fun and then all that I have worked towards is put on hold once again.
I need me time and I plan on taking it. For the next 30 days I plan to just enjoy moments by myself. Lunch dates, writing poetry, cooking, working on my projects, visiting sites around Miami and just refueling my motivation to achieve something.
I need this and I hope in the end I am able to push forth with all that I have learned about myself during this time.