I absolutely hate being called skinny. It really does something to my inner B*&%h and she is ready to go to war whenever I hear it. To some it may be a compliment but to me it seems unhealthy.
From the age of eight I have participated in team sports from volleyball to track and field and I have always stayed active even outside of those sports. Whether it was climbing trees in my yard or jumping off of roofs on nearby buildings I made sure to unconsciously stay in shape.
I have always had a pretty small shape, I didn’t actually think I was small until others started calling me skinny and that used to piss me off! In high school I believe I weighed between 130-145 over the course of those four years and it didn’t seem to change the way I physically saw myself. Not at first anyway.
On some people 10-15lbs makes a huge difference. You can see it in their shape, their face or the way their clothes fit them. On me those pounds seem to just adjust to my body shape. I never thought I looked different, could never feel the weight gain or loss back then but now is a different story.
As I previously posted on my Instagram these photos don’t seem like much of a difference but from left to right spans 10 years. In the first photo I was 19 and in my sophomore year of college. I weighed maybe 135lbs and was about 9-12% body fat. The middle pic was in 2010 and was my first year of grad school when I moved to Florida. I was about 145lbs and 15-18% body fat. Finally we get to this about two weeks ago. I was about 154lbs and 24% body fat in that pic and today I am at 150.
Sometimes on the outside you can’t tell the difference but you’ll feel it in your steps, your energy and your daily habits. I’m in love with the weight gain even when people tell me they can’t see it. Working on lowering my body fat without dropping the weight is a challenge but I’m up for it.
Lately I have been feeling down about my weight loss because it too me over 25 years to get to 150 and I can slowly feel the pounds shedding. The trainer in me knows I need to break down the fat to build up the muscle but the girl in me just wants to be thick lol.
I honestly just want people to let go of the misconception that just because someone looks in shape doesn’t mean they are. I am naturally small, I know that but when I go to the gym and people ask why am I there it confuses me. Our goals may not be the same but that doesn’t mean I should stop working on myself because someone thinks I “look fine.”
Looking and feeling are two completely different things and until I feel as though my body is where I want it to be physically (muscle gain, injuries) then I won’t stop working on me.